What is Required?

He has showed you, O man, what is good. And what does the LORD require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God. Micah 6:8

Blog, what blog? I obviously haven't blogged in quite some time. I do love to write, but discovered that sometimes when life gets challenging, it's not something you necessarily want to "blog" about!

BUT---my dry spell has ended, at least for now. God put this verse from Micah in my mind today as I contemplated my quest to get back to the basics. What is required of us? Maybe you have to be stripped of all of the complications around you, the chaos, the confusion....to walk humbly with God.

One way this has been manifesting in my life is through my health. Thanks to a friend who is a health nut (for lack of a better term), and a couple of thoughtful girlfriends who are themselves seeking to lose weight and get in shape, I have gained a keen awareness that I have increasingly neglected my health as the years go by.... I don't think this is unusual for working Moms (or ANY mom) in general--but then, add a few family crises into the mix and sometimes a Mom finds herself in a weakened state physically, emotionally and spiritually. (I am only referring to Moms because it is what I know, but obviously neglecting your health is universal!)

I can make excuses all day long about why it wasn't until my 47th year of life that I saw my physical well-being as a direct response to my faith. As a lifelong Baptist--all of our events revolve around food and fellowship! (I.E. "Potluck!") I don't want to be critical--but just cognisant--of many of our spiritual leaders who are not disciplined in keeping their bodies healthy. In my experience, a good Baptist would never turn down dessert! Part of a Preacher's job is to break bread with his church members and be gracious for their hospitality. But how much, and what kind of food do we really need? Does it honor the Lord for us to basically gorge ourselves with toxic, processed food in the name of fellowship with other believers(and make ourselves sick)? I am not pointing fingers--this has been my story. I used my self-deprecating sense of humor to poke fun of my "stress" eating. In my mind, the Mom was always considered last---make sure your family is getting plenty to eat--give them the "healthy" lecture--but never be so self-centered that you take time to think about your own health.

Add to this philosophy that SOUTHERN cooking is the best in the world--and you've got weight and health problems! I professed to follow Christ, but somehow didn't see how my lack of discipline in taking care of myself was direct disobedience to Christ.

So what have I done? Well, to start with, I lost 35 pounds. I still haven't made it to my goal, but I am so much happier to wear clothes I haven't been able to wear in years...(and actually wear sizes I haven't worn since high school :)
I've forced myself to get rid of all of my old clothes so I won't have them to "fall back" on. I started working out on a regular basis--something that is NOT fun for me--I'm still working on my attitude on this one!

But what has been especially eye-opening for me is the junk I've filled up with for years--if someone told me something was "bad" for you....I just saw it as "normal" and asked how bad can it be? It's what every family I know eats....Examples? Diet Coke-- I have been addicted to Diet Coke since I was in 10th grade. I don't drink them any more--or ANY soft drinks. It sounds drastic--but it's like drinking poison! I'm a bread lover--but have pretty much cut it out of my diet. In the past, I would have told you I'm "addicted" to chocolate--I could never resist! Funny--I have discovered if you don't eat chocolate everyday, you don't want it everyday. (Same with milk, cheese, processed cereal, salt, pastas, pastries, hamburgers, hotdogs, etc.) All of these types of foods are why my cholesterol is still high, even though I cut them out of my diet a year ago. But I have decades of damage to reverse! So, while I still have a long way to go--(yes...some days I totally blow it!) I am a lot more serious than the old Deana about taking control of my health with diet and exercise. Did you know Niacin can naturally reduce your bad cholesterol?

I now understand why it's essential to eat "real" food (like God made it!) instead of the attractive, convenient processed food that I somehow thought was good for us all these years! No wonder Americans have so much disease--I think it has to be all of the chemicals and artificial ingredients we put in our bodies. Now my challenge is to show my children the light---I have been trying to feed them fish and salad for years with no success. I can only hope my efforts will be noticed and one day, appreciated by my kids. I believe my newfound appreciation of nutrition is part of God's message to "get back to the basics." He has shown us what is good!

Help B.K. Help Others!

What? What Do You Mean "Christmas is Over"?!?

I'm blaming it on my Attention Deficit Disorder.

I am still getting ready for Christmas, but somehow it's already come and gone! As I started pulling out decorations right after Thanksgiving, I had visions of Christmas every where you look! Last year I was so frustrated with the LACK of enthusiasm and LACK of help from my family, that I didn't even unpack some boxes of decorations. (I got comments like-- "Let's just put up a pole for Festivus and be done with it!" , or "so and so's MOM doesn't make HER help with the tree!") I so treasure the days that passed by so quickly when the kids were mesmerized with every ornament, and wanted to be the one who found the perfect spot for the manger scene.

I knew this year's Christmas was going to be simple--(translation--cheap!). Elaborate gifts were out of the question--I got laid off and still am looking for a new position. So even though Bill receives disability and I've been receiving unemployment, it's gone before it gets into our account (you know--little things like--rent, medicine, utilities, food, insurance, a child in college, two kids at home...you get the idea!) It's been a rough economic year for so many-- so our extended families decided it would be best for everyone not to draw names this year and not to buy presents. I told the kids Santa was only leaving stockings this year (our youngest is 12, so maybe it's time for that anyway) plus, we would only be buying them a few gifts. So Christmas this year--for lack of a better word--was kind of "Grinchy!"

But I would fix that--I thought. I went to Wal-Mart and got the cheapest live tree. Nothing like the fresh smell of a live Christmas tree in your house! The guy who helped me in the garden center tied it on top of my van for me. He must have not been a Boy Scout because it fell off half-way home. On a busy street. I stopped and ran down the road to retrieve it as it rolled past cars waiting on me to move my van....oh gosh. One tiny lady in a big Hummer was nice enough to get out and try to help me. We were both too short to get it back on top of the van! And it was about 19 degrees outside! So I finally just gave it a big shove and it ended up horizontally across my vertical van--but I told her thanks so much--let's just get back in our cars. Then I probably made the line of cars even madder by driving about 10 mph in order to not shake the carefully balanced tree off the van again!

Just getting the tree up turned into a two day ordeal. It was crooked, and I trimmed on it, and re-positioned it several times in the stand. I would leave the room and when I came back it would be on the floor along with a broken ornament or two. I finally got out the Christmas ribbon and started tying the tree to whatever I could find. If it was leaning one way too much--I just tied another ribbon on the other side and stretched it across to the entertainment cabinet and tied it tight. Then I turned off the lights in the family room and turned on a small lamp. There. That's how it would have to stay through the season so no one would notice the strings tied around the tree....

Funny, even though I filled the bowl with water, and wrapped the trunk in a wet cloth and added water each day, just a few days later the tree was crisp and the branches were bowing. Dead. Oh well-- I still thought it was pretty.

So I unpacked Santas and more Santas and wondered where they would find a home this year. I set them on top of the entertainment center one by one--oops! There's a "Nutcracker Santa!" Does it go with the Santa's or the Nutcrackers? Where are my nutcrackers?.............

So-- I set down the Santa I had in my hand and started to the pile of boxes to look for Nutcrackers. I unpacked lots of Nutcracker soldiers. Ooops--one has lost a hat. One's hand has fallen off! I set out to explore the house for some sort of glue--do we have crazy glue? wood glue? where is my glue gun? Two hours later I finish repairing the Nutcrackers, and decide I'd like to look at them when I am at the kitchen sink. Another two hours and I had finally found extra lights and garland to go with the Nutcrackers at the kitchen sink, and my window seal spoke of Christmas Magic. :)

As I passed the windows out back on my way to find the big gold balls to hang over the dining room table...I noticed our across-the-lake neighbors all had outside lights twinkling.("Oh! We have to have some outside lights for them to look at as well!") I set out to find outside lights which took digging through every box, then making trips to Walgreens and Wal-Mart, only to come home to discover I needed more extension cords.

A few days later, we had blue and red lights (a nod to my crazy Rebel fan family) along the back deck and various white lights tossed up into the tree. I had something much more elaborate in mind, but somehow I couldn't quite meet my own expectations. Oh, well--back to the Santas...

Somewhere between the outside lights and the Santas my Christmas decor merchandising went awry. My attention quickly went to the "man cave" where Will and his friends play video games and pool. they needed a tree. lights and stockings. Then I decided I needed to take Christmas pictures of our goats in order to send a heartfelt Christmas card from the cuties to the lawyers office next to us that the goats frequently visit. (the phone rings..."Mrs. Day? Just wanted to let you know your goats are on our front porch!" ) Then I decided the wreaths on the gates needed lights.....then I thought I should really make some Christmas goodies for some folks.

I stayed up late Christmas eve, trying to make a decent batch of "Boiled Custard", a family Christmas tradition that goes back generations... and now only my mom is the only one left who knows how to make it. It's my turn to learn.

Then....it was Christmas Day. Ooops! (Is there still time to work on the Santas-- to hang the big gold ornaments in the foyer? to make the wreaths for the front door? to decorate the chandelier and the dining room? DARN) I am thinking--I will still finish emptying the boxes--who has to know besides us that it wasn't all done before Christmas?

Good thing Jesus doesn't judge us on how great our house looks for his birthday!

Besides--it's only January 1st-- can't we celebrate Jesus a little longer?

Now--back to those Santas. Where will my collection go this year? :)

"Vintage Glassware"

This picture makes me smile. I am the baby in the picture so I don't actually remember this occasion, but I'm willing to bet it is Thanksgiving 1964 or some special family dinner right around that time. The setting is Beebe, Arkansas at my great Aunt Mairee's house. She is on the far left, next to my maternal grandmother, then my mother holding me, and finally, my brother and sister are on the front.

My mother's cousin sent this to me (Aunt Mairee's son). I shared it and some others on Facebook and had one comment from an old college friend on the "vintage glassware" pictured on the table. I too, appreciate vintage glassware, and have seen many of my grandmother's patterns for sale in upscale stores and antique shoppes. These red glasses in the picture though, probably aren't around any longer. My Aunt Mairee's beautiful Main Street two-story house was destroyed in the huge tornado that hit Beebe in 1999. They pulled her from the rubble and she lived, although not many of her belongings made it through the storm. She lived out the rest of her days in a small senior citizen's apartment.

Just as my friend noticed the vintage drinkware, I had just noticed the "vintage glasses" , as in eyeglasses, in the picture! How funny these are to me now! As a kid, I don't ever recall noticing or even remotely caring what people's glasses looked like. I didn't even notice when they were big cat-eye glasses!

I am not one of those people who wish they grew up in a different time--I wouldn't want to go back to the 60's or any other decade. I look around though and wonder, what of mine will be considered "vintage" 40-something years from now? (I know, everything!!) But will there be anything special enough that a younger generation will collect it? I do look back to my grandmother's generation and appreciate the way they "treasured" their belongings. They took care of things and were proud to pass them along to a younger generation. I am guilty of being part of the "throw away" generation, focusing on everyday use of what is easy, convenient and affordable. Trends change so quickly, but of course I've noticed using and wearing old items has become a hot trend in the last few years. Throw the word "vintage" on any old item you are trying to get rid of, and someone will snatch it up! Looking at this picture, I am reminded that "vintage" also means history...whether a family's history, a part of cultural history, or the history of a particular item that was well-made and well-preserved. That earlier generation valued what they had, and I think would love the idea that years and years down the road, someone else was collecting it, using it, or selling it in a store next to new, trendy designer pieces intended to make our homes beautiful.

I think I'll start my "Vintage" box tomorrow.....just a few items that will stay out of the garage sales or the trash...and instead be used or collected or shared with others by my kids or grandkids. Oh, my husband is gonna love this one!

Gosh, I love America!

Our American soldiers are sacrificing their lives in foreign lands; a dictator is threatening to wipe America off the map; job losses are so great in the U.S. that the unemployment rate is almost to double digits; and all anyone seems to be concerned with is the deaths of pop stars and celebrities. I am not being critical-it is an observation. I have listened to Michael Jackson songs all week as well, I have been saddened that Ed McMahon died broke and humiliated after having a wonderful career and prosperous life. I was heartbroken to watch the gorgeous, vibrant Farrah Fawcett suffer the devastating effects of anal cancer and radiation and chemotherapy, only to finally succumb to the disease. And now Billy Mays has suddenly died. Until about six months ago, I didn't know his name--just his face and voice as that annoying infommerical guy! So loud and brash! Then I heard my teenaged son and my husband discussing Billy Mays one day as if they were fans, and I finally realized who they were talking about. I have to admit--he did make me want to try OxiClean, and I did. (Kaboom! and I have almost bought "Mighty Putty." Should I buy it now as a way to honor his memory?) I believe our household has tried many of the products he pitched.

What a great country we live in! William Mays started as a hired gun on the state fair circuit, demonstrating mops as well as selling products on the Atlantic City Boardwalk. Then it was the Home Shopping Network, and soon Billy Mays became a household name. His maximum-volume voice and animated ways caught the attention of viewers everywhere. While his style initially landed him as the king of "schtick" and as the butt of jokes--product sales were sky-rocketing and the TV Pitchman started garnering a newfound respect. He had just founded his own production company and there was even a new reality show "Pitchmen" that he appeared on. Wow--only in America! This is the free enterprise and the freedom to succeed that I hope our government will protect. The observation that the media and Americans everywhere seem to be fixated on the recent deaths of celebrities, while there are many more issues and current events that actually do affect our everyday lives, may shed some light on the times we live in. We need something to divert the attention away from the real problems and challenges in our lives and in our country. We feel out of control as individuals watching the stock market, the deficit, the President. Life as we have known it, and the principles we have based our beliefs on, are changing before our eyes.

I hope these four celebrity deaths in such a short time frame give us more than a diversion, more than water-cooler chatter. Life can end at any moment--before you are ready. There are so many things we want to accomplish--so many dreams--so much to do. You literally may not have a chance to pick up your kids at their friend's house today. Are you ready for that possibility? How do we live with hope if we are not prepared to die with Christ? I have no idea what the spiritual lives were of the celebrities that left this world this week were---I've only heard speculation from the media. I don't think another person can judge where a person's heart is-- we can only prepare our own hearts. I'm sad that Billy Mays was realizing his wildest dreams only to suddenly die and leave those he loved behind--but I hope his death will prompt others to ask themselves "Am I ready? What if I die tonight? Christ, will you receive me?"

Political Suicide? Who Cares?

I just watched South Carolina's Governor give a news conference on his whereabouts for the last five days....he told the world the ugly truth. I watched a political pundit afterwards criticizing him for "going too far; " "giving too many details"...making it hard for hard for his own political survival. I think it was evident the Governor is not thinking about his political survival, for once. He faced the media with transparency, for once, thinking of how his actions affected others. (Contrast this with the way John Edwards tried to keep his presidential campaign going regardless of the pain of others)

I am disappointed, as everyone is, over his failings--another leader many believed in with weak flesh....His former aide said he was "shocked--this is the last person in the world I thought would do this". It seems like I think the same thing nearly every time something like this happens. Flesh is weak!! Just ask Mark Sanford! Why would he disappear and not be with his four boys on Father's Day? What made him think, as Governor of a state, that he could slip out of the country without telling anyone? What if there had been a disaster in the state? Who was in charge?

Does he not remember Governor Kirk Fordice? (the former two-term Governor of Mississippi and family friend who told his State trooper escorts to "take a couple of days off", then dashed to Memphis to see his girlfriend, only to have a near-fatal crash on the way back.) Governor Fordice threw it all away--divorced his wife, alienated his children, tarnished his reputation. Those years were sad for all who knew the family. His judgement became very clouded during that time. His final years thankfully were spent with his children and ex-wife rallying around him as he battled cancer.

I'm not sure it was a great thing for Governor Sanford's young kids for him to be so candid to the world. I pray that people and the media will have the decency not to make things even harder for them. But I do think it is refreshing for him to stand up and tell the truth--facing personal and professional ruin--but still laying it all out and saying "I'm sorry." I saw a broken man who had come to terms with God that he had fallen into sin . Everyone is talking about how this is another hit for the Republican party--well, they are right, but there will be plenty more. There will also continue to be Democrats who keep letting their party down. I don't think it is right to either glorify our leaders, although it's the natural thing to do-- (that will surely lead to their fall) or to crucify them when they do let us down. Pray for them--and find a replacement. I do think he should resign as Governor--not necessarily for personal misbehavior , but for losing his head in such a major way that he would mislead his staff, his state and the nation and not follow the law by putting someone else in charge of the state.

By resigning the Governor will also have time to literally, put his house in order.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/ap_on_re_us/us_sc_governor_where

"Little Miss Sunshine"

I just watched "Little Miss Sunshine" for the second time. I never saw it at the theater, but rented it a couple of years ago. What is it about this dark, sardonic, yet funny movie?

It could be the beat up VW Van that the Hoovers travel in--you know, the one they have to push to get it going, then run and jump in through the side door? The one with the broken horn that continuously honks?

It might be the Nietzsche-reading teenaged boy who has taken a "Vow of Silence" for the better part of a year-- who wears a "Jesus was Wrong" t-shirt.

Or the nasty-mouthed grandfather who spends his time choreographing his 7-year old granddaughter's talent routine for the "Little Miss Sunshine" pageant.

Something about this movie really grabs me! It really makes me laugh--but then I feel guilty because the Hoovers are a really tragic family and many of the situations aren't funny at all. (If you haven't seen this movie--just a warning--definitely NOT a kids movie. at least though on TV they cleaned up the language a bit)

Greg Kinnear's character--the dad--is a motivational speaker who can't seem to motivate anyone--especially his family. He's a tortured soul--trying so hard to make something happen--but failing. He can't get anyone to publish his book; he can't get his father to behave; he can't get his son to talk. Olive, his 7-year old, idolizes beauty pageants and wants to be a beauty queen. When she orders ice cream, he tells her ice cream makes people fat and beauty contestants aren't fat. Her mom groans and tries to stop him from the "fat" lecture, to no avail.

So Richard (Kinnear) had moved his father in with the family because Grandpa got kicked out of the nursing home for doing drugs. Grandpa is hardly the image of an honorable grandfather--his language is filthy. But Grandpa spends the most time with Olive of anyone....teaching her a routine for her talent in the pageant. (Oh no! It ends up being a striptease to SuperFreak)

Olive's teen aged brother is disturbed, hates everyone, and won't talk. Richard's gay brother-in-law has to stay with them because he just tried to commit suicide and the hospital wants someone to watch him around-the-clock.

(Should I be laughing at this? Doesn't sound funny, huh---but it is!) BUT--and this is a big but-- as tragic as the problems in this family are--as flawed as they are---they all come together to support their own when she has a chance to fulfill her dream. Olive is the most unlikely beauty queen contestant and the family, who in addition to being in the middle of crisis, certainly can't afford to make the trip to California. They risk it all though and jump through hoops to make it happen for Olive.

But I read somewhere the director of the movie said "This is not a movie about family values--but a movie about the value of family."

Wow....I think my family is somewhere between the Griswolds and the Hoovers. As much as I hate to admit it-- While we haven't had a relative die on a trip with us yet, we have had plenty of broken down cars, personal and financial crises, and Murphy's law always seems to find us. We have also made things happen for each other that were improbable, and offered support and sacrifice for one another...

As parents, (ok--mostly me) we've tried to show optimism, and to find new learning experiences and family memories for our kids (and they groan--just like in the movies) We've tried to address unfortunate challenges with, "Someday we'll look back on this and laugh" or "This will build character in your life" when really we don't believe that ourselves. The only answer I have now is that God has a plan for us--and He never promised it would be easy.

Then again, the appeal of "Little Miss Sunshine" to me might also be the metaphor in my own childhood....(and I'm already laughing inside just thinking about it!) Much like Olive, when I was in elementary school, I had a chance to enter a pageant. It was something totally foreign to me. When I mentioned it to my friend Johnny Belew, he just laughed and said "YOU! in a pageant?? You've got to be kidding!" (or something to that effect) I was quite a tomboy--rode horses, played with my dogs and didn't like to brush my hair. Also I had about the same shape as Olive--a little pudgy. Johnny's reaction though, spurred me on to be the best pageant contestant ever! His lack of confidence in my ability was now my reason to succeed.

We set out to get clothes. My mother had no idea what the going styles were in pageants and of course I didn't either. We picked up some Butterick patterns and had the lady who made my sister's cheerleading costumes make me some pageant dresses. :) My dance teacher, who also happened to be our neighbor and one of my mother's best friends-- choreographed a little dance to "Sweet Gypsy Rose" for me to perform for talent. I had no idea the song was about a stripper. When I got to the pageant I found that I was a lot different than the other girls in the competition. My clothes were a lot different than theirs as well. I don't remember that fazing me in the least...

I belted out the song and made my dance moves big and did a lot of shaking, and I won the talent award. (Not the beauty award but my mom convinced me that winning the talent award was even better...)

Something about watching Olive in "Little Miss Sunshine" doing a striptease on the stage to SuperFreak with no fear-- and her family supporting her, jumping up on stage and dancing around her--took me back to 1974 and the pudgy tomboy on the stage at Little Miss White County, thinking I was just where I belonged...